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Butterfly- A colorful insect that flies from flower to flower pollinating and bring joy to the onlooker.

Sunday, December 3, 2017

14 School Days until Christmas Break

My New Schedule

On October 30th I began looking for a new afternoon job. On December 1st I got my first check from Pier 1 Imports, my new second employer. After working 50 hours a week at one location, two employers, for over two years I get to leave campus when the sun is still shining. It puts a skip in my step to leave the parking lot while parents are waiting in their vehicles to collect their children. I even beat them to the grocery store occasionally.

I love working at Pier 1. The store is a giant Christmas Village. The customers are most always happy and the glitter is everywhere. All the employees always seems to have a glitter glow. Last night I dusted and swept through the store. My tub had a glitter puddle as I stepped out. 
I wasn't sure how much decorating I would do this year since I work at Santa's workshop during my second job. I started decorating today after mopping the kitchen and washing all the linens. Once I began looking at the boxes of decorations above the washer more came out than I was expecting.
The least I have ever put on the sideboard


A single new ornament and holder, no tree this year 
Cleared the counter, it's real here
 (dishes in the sink)


No front yard Nativity, just my little ceramic

One lonely stocking on the real fireplace mantel 

Traditional repair of a nutcracker

Time to Think

I am working a lot few hours in the hope I will be working more hours this summer. I had not realized how little time I had to just think in my old routine. All my time not working was spent preparing for the next day and researching craft projects to do with the kinders after school. I may have put 50 hours a week on-sight, but easily worked another 10 at home on my computer every week.
Now I have conversations in my head that do not have to do with the kiddos and parents at school. I have been remembering sweet things my own children have said in the past and funny ones too. At my second job I work with a great team that not only want to help the public, they want to help each other. It is great that I have no outside prep needed.

One of the things I have ruminated on a lot lately was how I raised four children, some with learning challenges, to be such amazing adults. No doubt there was a lot of God's grace and prayer as the basis. My attitude toward my children's learning difficulies was not based on labeling the problem as much as just trying different teaching tools for different learning styles. My children were given labels, but not all of those labels can be 100% accurate. You may say, "A child is on the spectrum." Being on the spectrum of autism is a vague ways to describe a child.
Every child will have growing spurts in their physical, emotional and mental development. Being consistent and flexibility were my most used tools. I was consistently trying new things and flexible to understand that not all size 10 shoes have the same comfort level. 
My philosophy from the beginning was: Special Needs kids become quirky adults. Quirky adults are the most interesting people and have the most fun. I came to accept that I am one of those "quirky adults". Growing up, I would have been labeled, "Special needs." My A.C.E. score is on the high level and I would have been in a reading group. We had no "resource specialist." My dyslexia was not discovered until my late teens. By that time I had learned to read and compensate for a world that was upside down and backwards.
Today I can read fast enough, I can write upside down, backwards and use both my left and right hands independently at the same time. I teach reading, because I have compassion and I believe every child can grow. Before my resent "Thinking Time" I had been going through the motions. Now I know why I am doing what I do 180 days a year. I guess that is a little like the "walk by faith, not by sight," part of my life. I don't always get the explanation, but it sure is sweet when I do get to know what I am doing and the why.
 
Creative and Quirky?



Friday, November 24, 2017

The Day after Thanksgiving

Some call it "Black Friday", others call it "That extra day off after Thanksgiving" and then the children don't have a name for it, but sleeping in until 9:30 was the way my granddaughter: called it.

My Mom passed away June 1986. Most of the "Day after Thanksgiving" are memories of my Mom wrapping packages to be taken to the post office soon. I was the package wrapper from about 1971 on, as my oldest sister left home then. I remember Mom even snuck in my gifts for me to wrap on occasion. I also had a black cat who would get into the wrapping party. It was said that Mom had me wrap everything in sight including the cat.

My life changed in regards to Thanksgiving 4 years ago when Aunt Merna died. She was my children's great aunt and had hosted Thanksgiving all of their lives. The year she died the family did get together at her home for Thanksgiving one last time before her children sold her ranch. Then came a wedding for Abbie, a desolation of my 28 year marriage, another wedding for Johanna and the lost of Ian's sweet lady love.

Three Thanksgivings ago I spent the Thanksgiving break at a monastery to work on my voice and my broken heart. Mission New Clairvaux was rich in history and it was not until I had a new book to review in April 2016 that I found my voice. I was broken; I could not speak of my life in public forum for nearly a year.

Now 2 years after the divorce I spent my Thanksgiving accepting the past, preparing for future and relaxing in the present. I still work 5.5 hours a day at my school each day, but no longer work the extra 4 hours in the afternoon. After two weeks of searching this month I landed a part time job at Pier 1 Imports. They have an amazing Black Friday sale on their Papasans. With my employee discount it was near 1/2 off. So, I may not have always had a restful heart this Thanksgiving, but my body is in luxurious comfort.
My yoga towel was a perfect cover to keep
the plush cushion clean
Many people take this day to collect a tree with their children. I saw that one of my daughters is decorating with her hubby today. (Instgram is a great thing to keep up on my four children.)
I work up until Dec 23rd, so Ian and I have decided the little tree from last year can come decorate the table on Christmas Eve and we will have spiked cocoa on Christmas morning, open a few gifts and go back to bed.
My decorations will include changing the theme of the mantel and changing the door mat insert. Meanwhile, my little Adirondack chairs from Pier 1 and Elf from World Market will be our Christmas decoration. 

My Dad made life size chairs like this, same color 
Dec 1st I put up the Poinsettia garland 
Meanwhile, the boy says he and the dog had a chilly night camping out of doors. It is Nov. 24th you know! I back packed in that area in the middle of summer 1975 for three days, it was cold nights then.

I pray whatever The Day after Thanksgiving is for you, 

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind always be at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

and rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.




Saturday, October 14, 2017

The Hopeful Romantic

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This was the first thing in my Newsfeed this morning.
I said, "Yes, but it is God who makes the magic."
My son who has been through hell and back this year with the lost of his lady love in July... was promoted and given a full time position at the local Fire Academy. He worked hard for this "magic" and he was rewarded for his hard work.

Sometimes, I have not been rewarded for hard work in life. Sometimes, my hard work has not only gone unappreciated, but I have been put down for putting so much work into a project. I always have dusted my self off and heard my grandma in heaven saying, "Well done, good and faithful servant."
As a Christian I am suppose here those words from God, but my Grandma wrote them to me in a note years ago. I was struggling after having done all I could for all the people in my life and felt helpless to change my life. My children were 7, 5, 3-1/2 and 2. I felt I might die from the heart ache in my life of being unloved and working to be everything to everyone. My grandmother sent this letter and those words held me for many years. 
Now those children are adults age: 26, 24, soon to be 23 and 21. All adults and "adulting well". 😃

My current life is busy just with the 50 hour work week I maintain. I wish I didn't have to work so many hours, but at the present time it pays the bills. I don't have any volunteer work and I know a lot of Mom's who work harder than I do. I have Saturday events every other weekend, but they will be paid. This coming week is our Annual School Fall Carnival at school, called the Boulder Bash. (Our school is Boulder Creek Elementary.) That will give me a fun thing to do. I don't go for adult parties, so I can say, "I did Halloween."

I noticed today that the Chakra colors are the same as the colors of the rainbow: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. We usually look at the rainbow colors top to bottom and the Chakra colors are bottom to top, but if the arc of the rainbow was above a person and the circle arched through the body the red would be at the bottom and violet at the head. Yes, I am a hopeless (hopeful) romantic.
I am not thinking about how to create world peace or save the environment. I spent free time today figuring out how to make a picture showing the rainbow in a circle with a person sitting at the bottom of the picture showing the Chakra colors. Of course, I did four loads of laundry, a load of dishes, grocery shopped for the week and folder enough clothes to outfit my son for two weeks, while solving my Chakra puzzle. 

I listen to my 1960's Folk Rock music, watch the hummingbirds and create whatever my heart desires. My work friends have their ball games, swim meets, and other kids stuff for the weekend. Some of the emptynesters are watching plays, going to concerts and setting at the lake outside their RV's on the weekend. I'm just thankfully, resting in the nest and enjoy the music of my childhood.
The music that says,"I had to say I love you in a song", "Cats in the Cradle", "Nothing from Nothing Means Nothing," and "All the Leaves are Brown and the Sky is Gray".
I found these songs on my Pandora last summer and realized that this is what I am all about. The T.V. and media of the 1960's did shape some of my ideals, but the music is where I truly find my heart. Helen Reddy, "I am Woman hear me Roar." John Denver, "Sunshine on my Shoulders". Simon and Garfunkel, "Bridge over Troubled Waters". These all shape who I feel I am. 
My son was explaining to me the "Hipster" movement. He mentioned something about Bohemian and 60's/70's laid back "All is Groovy". I had to laugh. His father may have kept that part of me subdued while my son was growing up, but now that we have had two years on our own...well, that would me.
The Hopeful Romantic. 🎵Sunshine almost always makes me high...🎵

Sunday, October 8, 2017

October Highs and Lows

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This was the note I took very serious this weekend.
I had a nice coffee date with a friend Saturday morning and rested my soul for the weekend.
Now that it is Sunday evening, my dishes are done, meals planned for a few days and lunches, clothes washed and finished a book with one in the wings to start...

I am in a walking challenge at work and put in my 40 miles before Saturday morning.

Autumn in Redding is my favorite season, but is a fickle lover. We wake in the night to close the window as the temp drops to 50 degrees at night. Then in the afternoon when the temperature hits in the 80s you wish that you packed three sets of clothes for the days activities.
Here are a few of the autumn idioms that came out of my mouth this week:

* This minimum day traffic is like putting toothpaste back in the tube
* The falling leaves of autumn
* Don't judge a book by it's cover
* I love autumn because I am in the "Autumn of my life"
* But fortunately I was not under the weather this last week


Projects to get messy with the kiddos in Kindergarten afterschool program.



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I've had a heart ache like a loose tooth this week. I'm feeling a birthing of a change in this season of falling leaves and chilly nights. I pray it is a graceful change and that kindness and joy are always a part off all things in my life.

~Happy Autumn Breezes

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Autumn Morning Chill



Mt Shasta Stock Photo


Autumn Morning Chill...

It is such a thrill to have my slippers on out on the terrace this week.
When it is  105 "plus" degrees for over two months of the year the chilliness of the Fall morning is at my Top Five Favorite Feeling in the world right now. 
In Redding there are thousands of people hunting and painting rocks to hide. In a place that either has very hot weather, or extreme rain our local landscaping includes a lot of River Rocks. The object is to take one of these smooth rocks home, paint it and place it where it can be found to give joy. On the back of the rock may be an inscription asking the finder to post a picture of the rock on Redding Rock Facebook page, so that the painter can see where their rock is headed.
One of my school parents painted and shared the general location that I might find the rock below.
🐘Thank you Rachel🌻
 This was a particularly hard week for me and finding a rock that gave me a happy feeling of what I had shared with Taylor made it a little less difficult. I placed the little elephant rock near the Elephant statue I had planned to give Taylor for Christmas.

Taylor's Elephants

Fall Blooms

Not everyone will say, "My Impatience survived the Summer".
Blue Apron Helped with two weeks of meals

Scripture of the Day

My heart has been so heavy this month as emotions have been flowing

This showed up in my News Feed on Monday.
Yes, I was sporting the Glitter on the outside, even though
my heart was breaking on the inside.

Never a doubt that my direction is clear if I follow my dreams

This Cuttie Pattutie has been sick this week
Grammie sends Hugs and Prayers😘

He gives me chuckles everyday. I have Cherished that we are
able to spend a little while together before he leaps out again.
(Not off the fire engine though)

My view this week. Pulling out the robe and fuzzy slipper was a joy

Looking forward to the color changes and the crunching of leaves

New Season

Although our summers are harsh, it is expected. I have lived here over half my life and many other climates the other half. We expect to tan a lot in Spring and Fall, our toes web in Winter and we stay in the A/C in the afternoons in the Summer. 
Broken Birk
 My three year relationship with a great pair of sandals ended this week,
 when the strap broke on the playground Thursday.
I had bought the Blue Snake pattern ones a few years ago,
 when the others where in for retreads.
Alas, I only have one pair of Birks left in the wardrobe....for now.
New Danskos

A teacher let me know that Sierra Trading Post was having a Dansko Sale
 a few weeks back. These are my new wet weather shoes for the fall.
Last years USA Klog/Mary Janes went
to the dumpster along with the Purple Birks.


Namaste ~ DeenaButterfly on emojidex

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Grammie Butterfy


                         Birthday Cake on Microsoft Windows 10 Creators Update


Em turned "1" August 19th

I have been Grammie Butterfly an entire year now. Met this little bundle of love a little less than a year ago after she came home from hospital. I loved having her visit me this month and explore my world from a one year old lense. The last thing she showed me was that she could run my old Boom Box. She loves to dance and will dance at the slightest beat. She walked over and turned it off, turned it on and adjusted the volume from the buttons on the top of the music box.

https://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=2874479
Sunbutter Brownies are my "go to" snack this summer that I will continue to make weekly for my school snack. I add cocoa nips for crunch and make them in the muffin tin. I use Trader Joe's peanut butter that has chia and flax seeds.

We had our final 'Good Bye, Friend" to Taylor yesterday at a celebration of life

I bought myself a back to school bouquet of  gladiolas, carnations and a sunflower.

I found a starfish all purple and dead on the beach during our last adventure of beach combing. When I put him in alcohol he turned orange. I placed it on a rock and wrapped rubber bands around to help it dry. The rubber bands popped in the sun this week, so I guess, it is done?🌟

New Year, New Beginings

Everyone is a flutter about the solar eclipse tomorrow. To some it seems like Y2K all over again. To me it means working with a team to keep 1,000 plus children from not looking directly at the sun from 9 am to noon, or any other time for that matter. We will use our rainy day recess schedule and the teachers will take out their class with a lot of instruction and special eclipse viewing glasses. So, many notes home, phone calls and instructions have been made. 
I can't imagine what it was like for the children in 1918. There were no special glasses handed to every child in school, there was no media blitz causing traffic pile ups in central Oregon, there was little warning to many people in rural America, I would guess.
When I think of 1918, my mind runs to the major influenza pandemic of the winter of 1918 to 1919. These people in America had just witness a full eclipse of the sun in June and by the end of the following year between 20 and 40 million people had died. 
As one of my favorite authors Francis Shaffer would say, "So, how shall we then live?"

I plan to live in hope. I am celebrating another anniversary this weekend. 2 years ago, my son and I moved from a lifestyle of destruction, anger and filth...to new hope, health, clean living. We embarked on a lifestyle that we made the choices and need only account for the choices we made for ourselves. Grammie Butterfly, Mum, Sister, Friend and Co-worker, Teacher Deena, Mrs. Burnham are names I hear each day. My Mantra for the school year is, "I feel what I think and I think I am loved." Very simply, if I think I am loved and share love everywhere I go, what others decide to think and feel are not my problem.  This little card titled, "One Click" is what I will hold too.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

I've Been To Me


A song from 1976  "I've never been to me", seemed to be a theme for over 1/2 my life. I was 31 when I finally brought a baby home from the hospital. Today at 58, I've been to me... 

🎵 I've Never Been to Me 🎵

Hey lady, you lady
cursing at your life
You're a discontented mother
and a regimented wife
I 've no doubt
you dream about the things you never do
but I wish someone had a talk to me like I wanna talk to you

Ooh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacher man
and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces
Because I had to be free

I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...

Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie
a fantasy we created about people and places
as we like them to be
but you know what truth is?

it's that little baby you're holding
and it's that man you fought with this morning
the same one you are gonna make love to tonight
that's truth that's love


Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children
that might have made me complete

I've been to paradise - never been to me


 I lost children before birth, after birth and raised four amazing adults by the grace of God. I had been to Georgia and live in California before 1987 when I married the Preacher Man. Now I am alone.
GOD'S GRACE...That is what is all about. Those first 31 years before I held my first baby to my chest and smelled the baby breath...I am so thankful for the experience of being a mother these past 26 years. The outcome of four amazing adults and our little Em who came to spend 3 days with me at the beginning of my two week vacation.

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Em visiting Grammie's peaceful place


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Peaceful Place of all Seasons


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Spring


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Last Summer
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Birthday Rocks
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Zen Garden, Herb and Basil, Pansies




This summer I have been to Me. I went through counseling, which I recommend for everyone. We all have some "junk in the trunk" we need to get rid of and see through a different lense. By learning what happened in our past that gave us certain uncomfortable feelings, acknowledging that we have a right to have a feeling and then deciding if we need to act or just say, "Yep, that was a feeling".

I'm a child of the 1960's. More flower child than a lot of my peers.  I love fresh air, clean food and kissing babies on their feet.
A recent quiz gave this result as my purpose and and I feel it is spot on:
🦋Your life purpose is to express your emotions and feelings through your art. You were born into this world with a gift and everything that you have experienced in life has led you to this moment where you need to explore and express. You find art through many mediums and forms of expression. Your life purpose is to communicate through creativity and touch other people's lives and souls.🖌

And finally, I took the test and got a "Pink Aura":

💖Love, sincerity, affection and generosity are perfect words to describe you. Your pink aura indicates that you've achieved a perfect balance between your spiritual and material existence. You love to be surrounded by friends and family. You love to love and to be loved, while you hate conflicts and arguments. (Yes I do!)
You take care of your body and spread a positive and healing energy to those around you. The Pink Aura is very rare, so is the person who has it.💗

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...the beach is where my heart is
My youngest daughter who lives near the beach was my last family member to see before my holiday ended. I was able to have dinner with her, my oldest sister and daughter's hubby the last night we were on the beach. This little plaque is very true. My heart is at the beach and the rose quarts I found to wear and share are a show that I have found the Rose Aura. I may slip back into my Amethyst Aura occasionally for safety sake, but I know the Rose will always be at the heart of Me.

If you have read my blog before and wonder if I have gone off on a "New Age" tangent...I don't apologize. It seems that some Eastern Religion and Western Christianity must co-habit in me. Yoga and meditation, studying the reasons and myth behind certain Crystals is a way to be informed and excepting. I don't have to embrace all you believe and you don't have to embrace all that I believe. Agree to disagree if you wish. Namesta 🌼Shalom🌻
💖Deena🦋

Monday, July 31, 2017

GoodBye July


This is truly a month I am glad to see in the rear view mirror.


First Monday Of Vacation


I am thankful for my thoughtful, peaceful place. May all who enter
feel the peace and rest of my nest.

This little meme made me chuckle this morning.
I am that "Scary Mom" who live with my childhood
dreams illustrated by this Dick and Jane style of art.
I've lived through the baby food in my hair and this week
I get to have my Granddaughter give me some baby food conditioner.

I finally have white clothes that stay white after wearing for 6 months.
I no longer get wine in a box, but I do, indeed, have saggy eyes.
I can't imagine having them surgically removed.

....And this from Butterflies and Pebbles.


I am beginning my birthday month and vacation with a goal of rest and peace.
Yes, I have created a place of Peace and Rest, but I only enjoy it in two hour increments.
This week I am taking larger portions. Yes, I will get my apartment cleaned for baby...
...to explore every surface.


Em will touch, taste and explore...
Meanwhile, I will be Leaning on the Everlasting Arms. This past two weeks I did a She Reads Truth study on old hymns and their origins.




After spending my birthday with friends and family (Aug 2nd), I get to have three days with my little Petunia (Em).
Following that adventure, my sister and I are headed to the ocean to soak up the sand and sea waters. Our weather here is in the 100's all of July, August and a good part of June and Sept. Spending three days on the coast to soak in the 70's and sand is a respite I cherish every August.

Lamentations 3:22-23


The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
 
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.