...because it is my name

The First Time in Forever

1st view of Susanville in 34 years

     Yesterday I did a very brave thing. It was the first time I had been to Susanville since I left exactly 34 years ago, August 25, 1985. I felt I was leaving in a shroud of shame. My husband of 7 years had cheated on me. But worse than that, he and this woman had a child and had flaunted their relationship all over town for a year, while I worked in a Motel. I was managing a motel and lived on site with hardly a day off. This was my town, I had lived here since I was 6! Betrayal! Shame! Fear! Unsuccess! Anger! There were many emotions I had no words to describe. My mother had secured a hiding place for me at Shasta Bible College. 34 years ago today I packed my car and headed west with no desire to look in the review mirror at the town I had called home.

A Lot Can Happen in 34 Years

   My divorce was very simple. The judge in Susanville was a family friend. I typed the papers myself on a typewriter. After mailing a copy to my ex-husband and securing the "Return Receipt" the judge stamped the divorce final on May 25 and only charged me a $25 fee for filing. This past summer I acquired the official copy for another $25. 

   To get the real ID from the DMV one must have: Record of all name changes (ie: birth, marriage, divorce if you changed your name), SS card, two forms of current address not over a month old and $27. If at the same time you want to change your name on the title of a vehicle...that is free. 

   I had been Mrs. D.M. Burnham since Oct 17 1987. My divorce papers were presented to me Oct. 17, 2015. My son was still living with me, so changing my name at the time didn't seem right. When I transferred to a different school in my district last March, I was no longer Mrs. Burnham. At this new school they called me, Teacher Deena.

   As the time approached for needing the real ID to fly, I chose to reclaim my name. Deena Marie Orr is now my legal name. I have spent a lot of time and a reasonable amount of money to provide DMV with all the documentation needed to prove my identify. While I was at it, I also filed for a passport. They cashed my check, so I hope to see that in the mail soon. 

No More Shame on Me

   As a child the phrase, "Shame on you." was said more often than it ever should.  It is a phrase that I feel no child or person should have said to them. However, it was a teaching tool. No person should feel shame for an error or illness. Disgracing your family, being improper, public humiliation are things I grew up believing were my total existence. I married two men that seemed very different, but in reality they were excellent at putting shame on me. Being taught that I was less than, not good enough for anything or anyone, was my belief, until four years ago.

Enough

   I have learned that: I am enough! You are enough! I have had enough! Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt!

Chonda Pierce T-shirt

  I went to a Chonda Pierce concert last spring and I bought this T-shirt. Chonda may be a public figure and have aired her dirty laundry as my mama would have said, but her story always gives me hope. Many of her problems are similar to mine. Many of her problems couldn't be farther than mine. Few people in 2019 can say that in middle class America, they raised four children without a stove, oven or proper heating and air-conditioning, while two of these children graduated with honors from University and the other two graduated from tech programs with honors. Yes, I am enough and I have had enough.

August Milestones

My amazing children have been busy the past three years giving me even more amazing "Grandchildren".

Trader Joe's gave her flowers

Grammie Jammies

"For me and Bear"

The divine Miss Emelia Claire turned "3" last week. We found the Sleeping Beauty night gown with a matching one for a "Dolly". Saturday morning before her birthday we had a video chat, so that I could watch her open her gift. Bear fits the little nightie perfectly😂

Ellie Anne was 8 months old August 10th.

As promised  last time I had a new Grandchild on August 8th. The surprising thing is: the sonogram folk told my daughter and her husband they were expecting a girl. Over and Over and Over: a girl!

Judah Earnest Pick

what a handsome boy💗

That makes me a Grammie-flamingo, cuz it doesn't get more awesome for now.

I have many more adventures to record. For today this is enough😉 I'm out house sitting again.

 

Last Day of Summer Break

 

Summer of My Babies having Babies

28 years ago I began the journey of my "Four in Five Years." They are now 28, 26, 24 and 23. (The  one who is 24 gave up claiming the half year some time back)

My summer began with my oldest sister getting to adopt two granddaughters as her oldest daughter married a man with two amazing children. I got to meet my new great-nieces and fell in love at first sight.

Family Fun the night before the wedding

Only a few weeks later my daughter from Sacramento came up with my adorable granddaughters for three days. We decorated 100 cupcakes to look like Sloths and headed to Eureka for Daughter #3 to have a baby shower. 

July

My July goal was to complete my name change. Restoring my maiden name. While I was at this change across the board, I also decided to get a passport. I turned in the application last week for the passport and have a wallet full of cards that say I am: 

Deena Marie Orr

The real ID was the hardest to get:$27,  2 former marriage licenses, one divorce with name change, birth cert, two bills address to me and my new social security card. Then I photo copied it all again for the passport...I didn't know they would take my original birth certificate, but she promised it would come back to me soon.

Another fun thing I did in July was to teach 15 Chinese students arts and crafts for three days. It was the most fun I have had in a long time with teenagers. They say some funny things and they think we do some funny things. One of the boys said it was weird that Americans brush their teeth after breakfast. Who knew?

I have done a lot of house sitting through the past few months. The calendar has one more month scheduled to complete my 22 weeks of house sitting for the first 40 weeks of 2019.Whatever 2020 holds for me, Deena Marie Orr will be ready to fly at a moments notice 😂

August

August has been a bitter sweet month already. One of my house sitting gigs involved watching the elderly mother of the folks who owned the house. We had a lot of fun together, but she missed her husband who passed away last fall. My dear friend passed away on Aug 2nd, my 60th birthday. I didn't know for a couple of days and celebrated my birthday to the fullest.

Friends meet me at a local Pub and we had a great time listening to a band that did Elton John and Billy Joel songs until 11 pm. A few days later, I discovered that my friend was in the arms of her dear husband and Jesus. I had visited her earlier in the week at the nursing home where she gave me a huge smile as I left. I couldn't ask for more.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.

Then HE gives again. My youngest daughter had her baby yesterday...but that is a tale for another day...

August 12th and 13th we have teacher meetings and prep days. The kiddos will be at the gate when I arrive Wednesday morning at 7:15 a.m. for our first day of the 2019-2020 school year. A normal routine sounds good. My alarm hasn't been set, but my body has been waking at 5:30 a.m. (I wont chance that when school start). 

My "four in five years" have said that they will all meet in Redding area for a photo with all their significant others and the three grandchildren in the next few months. They will also have a photo taken for my wall at that time. I'm excited to meet the latest addition that shares my birthday week and another Leo like my first granddaughter who will be THREE next week. I added another stone to my Tree of Life necklace today. What a great gift that was from Abbie. 

It came with 24 stones, so I have a lot already in mine

Onward and Upward. My next scheduled day off will be Labor Day. Pier One will give me the same amount of days I have been working in the summer on weekends and a couple of late afternoon/evening shifts. The air is clear and beginning to cool at night. We have so much to be thankful this August day of 2019.