2017 ~ It's a Wrap

Thankful Ending for 2017

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   2017 has been a journey of lessons. We lost a special Loved One last summer and we got a little bundle of Joy added to the family in March.  Laughter and Tear ~ Joy and Sorrow

   I changed my second job a couple of months ago and have enjoy every minute. I am so thankful for my family and friends that are like family. My co-workers at both jobs are great. My little nest has been snug and warm in cold weather and calm and cool in hot times. 

   I've read a lot of books and painted a few pictures. In 2018 I plan to read more books and paint more pictures. I'm reviewing some of the children's classics like "Secret Garden" in January. First project for the New Year will be reorganizing, at least one book case will come out to the living room.

    In June and July I went on a Sugar Detox. In my blog July first I shared the Jelly Bean thing. This week I realized that just stopping sugar was not the only thing I did on the Detox. I had given up wine for the detox, but did not expect drinking red wine in July after the 21 days would have an effect on my blood sugar. Of course loosing Taylor July 4th didn't help my physical/emotional/mental condition either. In retrospect, when I began drinking wine again my skin started getting red itches patches around my eyes and other places that have tender tissue (arm pits and behind my knees). The doctor was unsure and I was told it was probably an allergy, but just in case I was given an eye antibiotic.
   Six months later and the red itchy has come and gone while I have reduce most sugar. I don't eat wheat and that makes it easy to avoid most of the lovely sweet at Christmas. I did enjoy Dark Chocolate and Red Wine everyday through December... Until two days ago I went to the local Health Food Store. I asked the gal for a suggestion on the itching around my eyes. She asked me if I ate pasta, bread, cookies, cakes, crackers... "No, on all accounts." Then she explained that she had a similar condition that went away when she became Gluten Free. Well, I have been gluten free for nearly a decade, before it was even fashionable. While she was talking to me, my mind kept saying, "Red Wine is sugar". When I reviewed my Sugar Detox File, there it was,"Avoid Red Wine." Whiskey is okay and beer, even white wine, but no red wine. She also suggested EMU OIL. Emu Oil, I didn't know there was such a thing. I got a sample bottle and went home to research. Yes, refined Emu Oil is a great thing for skin and even an anti-fungal. She was telling me that my around the eye itch was a fungal infection. WOW!
Two days later the rash is clearing up and itch was relieved immediately after applying the lotion. Now it is a healing itch. Researchers also say it heals and helps avoid scaring.
   I have got to admit the past few weeks I would look at myself in the morning then be looking at my wrinkled, older customers all day. I had thought, did it hurt like this to get wrinkles. I don't remember seeing anyone else turn all red and itchy as they molted into wrinkles.
    Funny how the mind tries to explain what we feel. In December I got to go on a trip to the North Pole with  Virtual Reality Glasses. I had a little girl in a fluffy coat seated at my knees as I sat in a first grader's chair. When we were looking at the elves at Santa's workshop, she brushed against me and my mind said, "Is there a kitten under the elves work bench?"
   On the Pacific Coastal time we have about 5 1/2 hours until mid-night. Close enough, I will say farewell 2017.

Welcome 2018

   This is my goal for all my readers. I think it is the best New Years Resolution we can hope for in 2018. I have many idea for changes in my life, but I will report on those as they happen. Meanwhile, I pray that you all have a safe and fun New Year's Day.

Winter has arrived

December 22nd, 2017 you amaze me. 

I'm sitting here in my fuzzy robe singing Feeling Groovy in my head.

...no deeds to do, no promises to keep...

I took most of yesterday off from school for a: Me day. After getting the children safely across to the school as crossing guard: I went to a two hour counseling appointment, got a chair massage in the mall, bought Chinese takeout and took an hour nap

The two hour counseling appointment helped me settle a traumatic situation that has been haunting my dreams for 6 years. "About time," you say. Well, it was the perfect time. It took until now to understand that this was a Ghost of Christmas past and needed to be exercised out of my life. I still cant begin to understand the working of my brain that makes Brain Spotting and EMDR work. However, I know that in the last year I have been able to neutralize the emotionally, crippling events that have made up my past. I have enjoyed happy emotions without guilt.

So many years of my life were ,"One foot in front of the other", "One day at a time". A series of events that happened in December six years ago have given me haunting dreams. Dreams that my head could not get my heart to accept no longer existed. Situations that had no more control on my life. Yesterday, with the help of a Christian Counselor, I was able to laugh at that dream and tell it that it has no control on me. I am free to be loved, trusted, and respected. My experience is that I am loved, trusted and respected, however, my heart is still working on wrapping around what I am experiencing.

No more looking back

I feel I should have turned into a pillar of salt a number of time by now for looking back. I heard somewhere this week that we should look forward and not just stop dwelling on the past problems, but not live in the past glory either. As I complete this last week of 2017, I will be ruminating on that thought. 

It is a Philippians 3:13 thing. I need to press in the present for the future. I could have another 15 to 25 years of quality living left, maybe more, maybe less. I have seen all my children through school, college, university and beginning marriage and parenthood. I am the proudest mother on the planet. I have the most gifted grandchildren. My jobs are fulfilling, I have friends and a nice place to live.

So, as I begin 2018 I will concentrate on the future and what I can leave behind for a better world. A lofty goal perhaps, but an achievable goal as I take it "Step by Step" and "One day at a time."

Friendship

With this adjusted perspective of myself, I need to say something about friendships in my life. In recent years there has been a lot said about expressing: self-respect, self-love, self-care. With my trust issues, I didn't want to buy into that, "Worthiness" message. It took me six years just to sit down and think about the demon of Christmas 2011, goodness sake, I had another 50 Christmases*** before that one that were not too great either. All I wanted for Christmas was: tights that fit, a cuddle or hug and the words,"You are worthy of love."

This last year I have had a friend who has gone to coffee or to get a beer about 8 times with me. That friend didn't ask anything in return. I have never had a friendship like this, one who respects me, doesn't put me down, and listens when I talk. No agenda. I have learned to trust this friend's point of view and shared my experience in this crazy changing world. No relational debris. Talk about a breath if fresh air.

It is three days before Christmas. I have tights that fit! Yesterday I got lots of hugs from friends, co-workers and parents who have told me in gifts and words that I am loved and worthy. I am blessed.

***History note: The Ancients took the pagan Winter solstice celebration and put a Christian twist on it so that my parent's generation could put a materialistic twist on it all. Outcome: Entitled kids, dressed up, pushed, pulled and told don't expect everything you want, but here is a paper to write down everything you want.

 It's the most wonderful time of the year

I don't want anyone to get me wrong. I love the music, the smells, the food and the lights of the Season. I think it was great of the Ancients to say, "Let's get out of our gloomy huts and enjoying a beer and a fire with the neighbors." I grew up in the 1960's when all the neighbors came by to share snacks. My mom wore a Christmas Apron that defied spills. My dad huffed and puffed about the tree standing upright and my sisters and I shook ever package under the tree. We had snow for Christmas and I love that I live in a place where there is no snow at Christmas to shovel. (It is great to visit, but I walked to school in snow.)

I get to work at Pier 1 on Dec. 23 and 24. I'm excited to see the last minute shoppers run home with their packages.  It is in walking distance and considering the unfortunate fatality last night between home and work, I may walk. (Please pray with me for the families that were touched by that tragedy so close to home. ) 

I have been singing Christmas songs to the crossing children all month at the school crosswalk. This last week I added Reindeer ears/antlers and flashing Lights. My heart is happy with the songs of my youth as I wish you all a Merry Christmas.

14 School Days until Christmas Break

My New Schedule

On October 30th I began looking for a new afternoon job. On December 1st I got my first check from Pier 1 Imports, my new second employer. After working 50 hours a week at one location, two employers, for over two years I get to leave campus when the sun is still shining. It puts a skip in my step to leave the parking lot while parents are waiting in their vehicles to collect their children. I even beat them to the grocery store occasionally.

I love working at Pier 1. The store is a giant Christmas Village. The customers are most always happy and the glitter is everywhere. All the employees always seems to have a glitter glow. Last night I dusted and swept through the store. My tub had a glitter puddle as I stepped out. 

I wasn't sure how much decorating I would do this year since I work at Santa's workshop during my second job. I started decorating today after mopping the kitchen and washing all the linens. Once I began looking at the boxes of decorations above the washer more came out than I was expecting.

The least I have ever put on the sideboard

A single new ornament and holder, no tree this year 

Cleared the counter, it's real here
 (dishes in the sink)

No front yard Nativity, just my little ceramic

One lonely stocking on the real fireplace mantel 

Traditional repair of a nutcracker

Time to Think

I am working a lot few hours in the hope I will be working more hours this summer. I had not realized how little time I had to just think in my old routine. All my time not working was spent preparing for the next day and researching craft projects to do with the kinders after school. I may have put 50 hours a week on-sight, but easily worked another 10 at home on my computer every week.

Now I have conversations in my head that do not have to do with the kiddos and parents at school. I have been remembering sweet things my own children have said in the past and funny ones too. At my second job I work with a great team that not only want to help the public, they want to help each other. It is great that I have no outside prep needed.

One of the things I have ruminated on a lot lately was how I raised four children, some with learning challenges, to be such amazing adults. No doubt there was a lot of God's grace and prayer as the basis. My attitude toward my children's learning difficulies was not based on labeling the problem as much as just trying different teaching tools for different learning styles. My children were given labels, but not all of those labels can be 100% accurate. You may say, "A child is on the spectrum." Being on the spectrum of autism is a vague ways to describe a child.

Every child will have growing spurts in their physical, emotional and mental development. Being consistent and flexibility were my most used tools. I was consistently trying new things and flexible to understand that not all size 10 shoes have the same comfort level. 

My philosophy from the beginning was: Special Needs kids become quirky adults. Quirky adults are the most interesting people and have the most fun. I came to accept that I am one of those "quirky adults". Growing up, I would have been labeled, "Special needs." My A.C.E. score is on the high level and I would have been in a reading group. We had no "resource specialist." My dyslexia was not discovered until my late teens. By that time I had learned to read and compensate for a world that was upside down and backwards.

Today I can read fast enough, I can write upside down, backwards and use both my left and right hands independently at the same time. I teach reading, because I have compassion and I believe every child can grow. Before my resent "Thinking Time" I had been going through the motions. Now I know why I am doing what I do 180 days a year. I guess that is a little like the "walk by faith, not by sight," part of my life. I don't always get the explanation, but it sure is sweet when I do get to know what I am doing and the why.

 

Creative and Quirky?