par·a·digm
noun \ˈper-ə-ˌdīm, ˈpa-rə- also -ˌdim\
: a model or pattern for something that may be copied
: a theory or a group of ideas about how something should be done, made, or thought about
I guess that last part kind of sums up my thinking lately.
How do I think about things?
How should I think about thing?
More important:
Do I think about things to much?
I started a Bible Study this month with a group of friends in the book, Power in the Blood of Christ, by Jennifer Kennedy Dean. In this book she states at the beginning that she will shift my "paradigm" about how I view the Blood of Christ through scripture.
We are taking this study slow and in the middle of week one, I have already had some of those, "ah ha" moments. She starts, fittingly, at Genius and is showing that blood is the force in life and that life was "breathed" into Adam, which we know give oxygen to our blood and off we go...
It has been over three months since I have wanted to make a blog post. On Oct 1st, 2014 I was beginning to embrace my new phone and tablet as a way to communicate and keep updated on the world around me. I was contacted that day by an employment agency and started work two weeks later. The temp job ended Dec. 5th which spring boarded me into the Holiday season.
That job gave me the realization that I really don't want to work in an office shuffling paper and the last two jobs before that one had made me see that I don't want to work in a Call Center either. I have told my children that going to the local JC and living with your parents is a way to try out different fields and see what you want to do with you life... however, it seems we will continue to change what we want to do through life. Career changes are an okay thing.
I just didn't take my own advise. After my kids were grown and I had returned to college to get updated on computer and people skills I went back to the same kind of jobs I had before kids. Now I understand that I was never comfortable in those "office" setting and it wasn't because of my own inadequacy.
So, what am I good at? I home schooled my kids from 1996 to 2012. I often say despite me they are all in college or graduated and doing well as contributing members of society. Could be that I was good at being a home school mom and didn't see the forest for the trees?
Home schooling was like that for me. It was a blur of daily feeling inadequate, but as it worked out all four of my children survived and have life lesson from the adventure. My failures seems to help them grow to be more understanding adults.
I saw this quote yesterday:
"Healthy and high-functioning people often have parents who do not hide their flaws, especially from their own children. What I mean is this: Healthy people tend to come from families in which parents willing confessed and were okay with their own weaknesses, even if those weaknesses were quite dark. And those kinds of parents are rare, which is perhaps why super healthy people are so rare." Donald Miller, Author Blue Like Jazz
Donald Miller himself acknowledges that he has changed his own thinking since writing the book.
I can accept that I am not the same person I was when I had four kids under my roof ages: 11,12,14 and 16. That was their ages when our world changed drastic at the death of their Grandma Ardie. They had been raised under her roof and though she was in a nursing home the last year and half of her life she had a great influence on our daily life.
Within three years I would have the three girls all at college with me. They each took college classes for High School credit and in turn had units toward their Associates degrees.
Now in 2015 the two younger girls are graduating from university in the Spring with their Bachelors degrees. I am very happy for them and proud of the choices all of my children have made to bring them to this point in their lives.
I have been sending out resumes to the schools this month for Aid jobs in the public school system. I have embraced my own inadequacies as a home school mom and excepted that I was happiest when I was in the classroom with my kids. (However, our class room was mostly under the Ancient Valley Oak in the back yard.)
I have my first interview on Thursday with my new Paradigm. The result of a season or reflection and a time of prayer.
For those of you who have actually followed my blog. Thank you for checking in on me.
Here is the update on the kiddos:
Johanna came home for two weeks of winter break. This photo she took of Ian and Junior on their walk. Ian is now in his second semester at the local JC taking his general ed with a few classes of Ag and Natural Resources. He and I have been enjoying the Saturday night services at our church and I help with singing once a month.
Johanna and her best friend got in a photo shoot before she headed to see her sister, Abbie, and then I took Johanna back home to start her job on campus on Jan. 5th.
The newly weds are doing well and enjoyed having their little sister visit them after Christmas for four days.
While they were all visiting I took a Mega Bus from Sacramento and visited with my oldest sister in Reno and her amazing cat, Madison.
I have decided when I grow up I want to be a "Crazy Cat Woman" like my sister. (Actually, it is the cat that is crazy not my sister.)
I have no resolution for 2015, but my goal is to stay more involved with what is going on in the moment and not worry about what I goofed up in the past. God has a plan.
Shalom, Shalom.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
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